The Tyranny of Growth and Numbers

Yes, measurements and statistics are fun: if you are doing great. But it can quickly lead to ultra-stress. At least, that is what I find. 

Take this blog: I started last month and the first visitor was announced with a fat green arrow UP on my statistics. My number of views climbed quickly and I must admit my mood was lifted up along with the lines on my graph. I thought: 

I have better growth numbers than the average communist state! 

My proud previous self 

What joy to look at those merry statistics! 

A change in fortune

But then, doom started. Today, I looked at my site’s numbers and gasped: red arrows pointing DOWN! The stern graph announced disappointment in my work. There it was in fat red numbers: I was a failure!

Naturally, I was quite shaken. Who likes to „not meet the potential“, „perform less than last week“, or „lose momentum“? 

But then I realised that I must take a step back. On second glance, I thought, this is crazy. I am doing pretty much the same thing as last month, typing away, but doing the same is now no longer good enough?

I suspect there are a few things wrong with my initial panic: 

Why is constant growth best?

Exactly that greed for ever growing numbers got us into all sorts of trouble all over history. Did I become the Scrooge of online reader points?

Of course, it is nice when many people read here. But why exactly? 

Are they better off reading this post than watching cat videos? Possibly. Would my readers learn more if they read an article on some NASA exploration. Most likely. 

So, it is impossible to say with certainty if it is better for my readers to stop by and read. If not for my readers, who stands to benefit from growth on my page?

In the grip of external approval 

As I don’t earn any money with it. I must be craving the virtual shoulder clapping. 

I admit: I like readers. I like to get likes. But why? That is a very slippery slope of self-exploration: once you start asking, you need to wonder why we sometimes jump through funny hoops for external approval. 

That can of worms I cannot cover in my post today. But it helps to realise, which part of our Homo sapiens psyche gets tickled by those numbers. 

Remember. I write for joy. I am half confident that if I post again on Facebook, a few lost souls will click and stop by. My numbers might turn green again. But do I spend my effort on getting attention? What is my true objective? 

Under constant observation

Our personal life – growth and decline – is measured constantly on many levels: there is a step counter on your device. Celebrating with you after a long hike, but then immediately pressuring you the very next day to „keep up the good work“. Or your report card: a great grade in your math test encouraging to keep it up. 

I don’t know, what numbers you are looking out for in your life: bank account, heart rate, blood sugar levels, hours slept, etc. Whereas it is beneficial to keep an eye on it all, but to then feel pressured by a graph on a screen is modern madness and certainly poison for inner peace.

Ignorance is bliss

I should mature and keep my cool. Naturally, that isn’t easy at all. It has prevented human extinction to stay competitive and ambitious. 

We survive in our tribe and it calms us to know that they accept us and will not throw us out of the cave to be the next yummy dinner for prowling lions. 

It plays to our instinct to thrive for positive feedback and external gratification. It is really hard to stop and think how this particular feedback is generated and what it really tells us about what and who we are. 

Measuring up

Numbers are deceivingly easy to see and understand. „You are a person of 2.3 value. That makes you better than the 2.2 person and less than the 2.4 person.“ Sounds right? 

We must stop and think what numbers we are looking at. Do we value what they measure? Only then we should value the value. Otherwise: ignore! 

Uncountable Joy

So, I will try to gratefully enjoy. I get to write and that helps me to clear my head and brightens my day! Yes, it makes me smile whenever people chose to visit this blog or send me a note. But it should not make me frown when they are busy elsewhere. 

I will take note, when people start changing the side of road when they see me. For now, I will do my best and try ignoring the tyranny of clicks and numbers on my path through life.